We need a vacation from holidays

My American cartoonist, Jim Hunt, posted on Facebook his illustration you see here with this caption: “Why can’t the department stores let us enjoy each holiday like we used to? They’ve turned it into one big ‘Merry Hallowthanksmas!’”  Within days his funny cartoon was shared by 70,000 people.

To say Jim struck a nerve would be an understatement.

“It was still summer when all this Halloween stock was displayed,” my neighbor grumbled when I ran into her at the store. “Who would buy all this crap months ahead of time?”

Well, my nine-year-old daughter would if she could.

Eager to pick through the large assortment of get-ups and decorations, Daisy has been making a bee-line for this particular section of the store for the last couple of months. And since the Christmas merchandise is now on display as well, her attention has become divided between the two.

“It makes me mad the way these stores are always jumping ahead to the next holiday and selling it way too early,” my neighbor continued. “Sell, sell, sell, it’s all about money to them.”

How true. But if I owned one of these stores, I imagine I’d be doing the same.

The fact is, a lot of people tend to buy early. I think they’re called “organized” or “planners” or some other word that doesn’t apply to someone like me.

If a store doesn’t get their products out early enough, another one will, and that’s where the consumer will likely spend their money. This logic is the reason seasonal and holiday goods seem to come out earlier every year.

Yet if it weren’t for my kids, I doubt I’d even notice these displays at first. I’m one of those people who buys stuff on an as-needed basis, so unless Halloween’s in the next day or two, I’m not purchasing candies or costumes quite yet.

The downside to my strategy? The potential for a much smaller selection.

“What happened to you?” an old friend asked after finding out I had no idea what I was dressing up as, while she’d been ready for awhile. “You used to be Miss Halloween.”

I did. I even used to make my costumes from scratch. But I gave that up when I discovered how much easier it could be to just rent or buy one off the rack. They might not have been as fun or unique as my originals, but I sure liked the lesser commitment of time and money.

“Before kids I had all kinds of extra time,” I replied to my single, childless friend. “Now I’m lucky if I can find twenty minutes to vacuum out my car once a year.”

With pity in her eyes she offered me a creepy crawly spider bowl of mini chocolate bars that she’d bought for her trick or treaters.

“I’m going to have to buy more candies,” she said frowning down at it. “Everything I bought is almost gone.”

Another reason I don’t like to buy early.

The stores are obviously savvy to display their stock months in advance. If it didn’t work, they wouldn’t do it. The only thing that would prevent them from this practice is if more people were procrastinating, disorganized types like me.

In the spirit of Halloween, that’s a scary prospect indeed. If you don’t believe me, take a peek in my car.

More columns, blogs, cartoons and videos can be found at LoriWelbourne.com

Trick or treat

Before I became a mother I was the type of person who made a big deal out of Halloween. I’d go to significant lengths to create a fairly unique costume and then wear it to work regardless of the level of Halloween spirit at my workplace that particular year.

There were times I worked for companies with plenty of people in costume, and sometimes their offices were even decorated with cobwebs and other spooky paraphernalia. Dressing up for that environment was always a hoot.

And then there were other times when I was one of the few weirdos dressed up on the 31st of October. Like 17 years ago when I worked for a large conservative government agency and showed up at my new place of employment decked out like Madonna. With half of my eyebrows shaved off and drawn into an arch, a high Jeannie-style ponytail, and two pointy prominent cones poking through my pin-striped suit, I thought I looked good.

My boyfriend’s sister, who also worked there and was not in costume, called their mother immediately to report my attire.

The following year my future mother-in-law looked relieved when I showed up at her house trick-or-treating with her son as the less sexy Marge Simpson and Krusty the Klown.

Over the years I continued to assemble costumes for my friends and me that were fun and funny. Dressing up my reluctant husband in drag as Monica Lewinsky and Tinkerbell was particularly enjoyable.

But none of that compared to the fun of dressing up my children.

When we had our first baby 11 years ago I made a bumblebee costume for him as well as for us and we took our precious two month old to his first Halloween party as the baby in our Beatnik Bee Family.

When our second child arrived a few years later, our son Sam had his own ideas about how he and his sister should dress up.

“I’ll be Winnie the Pooh and Daisy can be Piglet,” he said the first Halloween she was walking. “Because we’re best friends – just like them.”

I made a beautiful discovery that year: the simplicity of store-bought costumes. Not only were they less expensive and saved me hours of time, but they were every bit as fun as the costumes I’d created from scratch. In fact, keeping it simple made it even better for all of us. And more flexible as well.

After finding her favourite had-to-have-costume and parading around the house for a couple days as the delightful Big Bird from Sesame Street, our eight year old daughter eventually altered it to a more haunting “Big Bird, dead bird Zombie” combination by adding some make-up and props. And, consistent with the past several years, the week before the big day arrived, she was begging to be something entirely different.

“I saw the cutest sock hop outfit ever!” she said after promising not to change her mind this time. “Seriously, Mom! It’s the cutest dress on Earth and it even has a sheep on it!”

Interesting. I hope it comes in her daddy’s size as well.

To see why other kids look forward to Halloween and to hear their costume picks this year, watch my son’s pumpkin patch interviews at LoriWelbourne.com