Oh, so, it wasn’t real?

Melky Cabrera – he of the most surprisingly individually successful season since that kid took over as manager of the Twins in Little Big League – tested positive for “testosterone” and will be boosted 50 games from Major League Baseball.

*No, testosterone is no longer just something all dudes have.

Melky was quick to hit the campaign trail, though. From ESPN:

“My positive test was the result of my use of a substance I should not have used.”

Well, that was easy.

“I accept my suspension under the Joint Drug Program and I will try to move on with my life. I am deeply sorry for my mistake and I apologize to my teammates, to the San Francisco Giants organization and to the fans for letting them down.”

Good thing the Giants aren’t contending for a title, or anything.